Some lekker Kaapse humour?

Picture the scene. A newspaper vendor is standing in a busy intersection in the main street of Cape Town selling the afternoon paper, The Cape Argus.
"A'gus, A'gus," he calls incessantly.

A 4x4 bakkie with a Free State registration pulls up at the robot . The burly, deeply tanned farmer leans out of the cab window and calls to the paper vendor, "Hey midnight, bring 'n koerant."

"Midnight" sidles over and they exchange money and newspaper. Then midnight steps back, looks the driver straight in the eye and says, "Djy roep my midnight. Djy's nie so ver van quarter-to-twelve djouself nie."


The neatly dressed, quiet spoken, middle aged lady bent down to inspect the peaches offered for sale by a street vendor, "Is daai perkes soet?" she enquired.

"Dja ounooi. Kyk net hoe still en netjies sit hulle in rytjies."

and finally......

The trek fishermen use a rowing boat to catch a fish they call harders. The boats are launched from the beach and the fish are caught close in to the shore. Frequently the fish are tied in bunches and sold at the roadside. A Transvaal Mercedes stopped next to a fisherman holding a bunch of harders and enquired, "Wat vra jy vir daar harders?"

The fisherman looked at the fish, then stretched out his arm and held the harders a few inches from the driver's face, "Ek vra hulle fokkol. Wil djy hulle iets vra?

Lol waar kan tjy dan bieter kry

Great stuff. LOL. I could read and UNDERSTAND it.
My Afrikaans is getting better.

Djy kry nie bieter asssie Kaapse jouksie ghasie!

damn i cant translate it all-koerant? and the sentence looks the driver in the eye and says..??
ah hell! who am i kidding i only understand,'is daai perkes soet? are these peaches sweet?
sometimes afrikaans is easy to understand and most of the time for me its not.. but hey thank u for the afrikaan lesson, it'll hopefully come in happy next year!!

These are wonderful - thank you and totally in keeping with the humour of our wonderful skelem vendors.

Thank you.
We need some humour in this section.

Thanks, die kaapse ouens, hulle het die regte chune. Good few to start the weekend off, thanks turniton.

Sien djy, daai's'ie rigse Kaaapse humour for djou!

I remember the true case of a bergie who on overstaying his welcome in someone's garden was accused of being a bergie and told to voetsek, his reply was,
"Lyster kaptin, ik's meer 'n bergie nie, ik's 'n squatter"
I have a soft spot for bergies.

The Devil approaches Gatiep " Do you know who i am ?" Gatiep " Nei gee my 'n tip " Devil "I am the Prince of Darkness" Gatiep " O djy is die Grootkop van Eskom