South African Mixed Couples?

I am a white North American girl who is head over heels for a Zulu boy from South Africa. We met in South Africa and over the years he has become, not only my boyfriend, but my best friend too. We plan on getting married and living in South Africa at some point. People here in North America ask me all the time what I'll be facing by entering into a mixed marriage in South Africa because of South Africa's history. I tell them that I won't fully know until I get there - what do you think I'll face?

Thanks guys to those of you who have answered! Theres something so special about South Africa because of all that you have overcome. During my first trip there I felt as though I was coming home, even before I met my boyfriend there. South Africans should be proud of all they've come through and are examples to much of the world of hope & reconciliation.
I also just want to be with my man! I don't honestly care what the reactions are. They don't matter to me - what matters is that I have found the love of my life and I am privledged enough to be with him. I am just curious because I'd like to prepare myself & be able to stand strong.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! You'll probably face discrimination - though I'm not sure how much since you are white american and not afrikaans (white south african). I'm not sure how, but you might want to try to get to know some other mixed race south african couples. Maybe someone will answer you on this site.

I don't know if you are Christian, but there several churches down there that are headed by a mixed couple named Fred and Lucille May. Fred is colored south african and Lucille is afrikaans. They talk from time to time about how it is for them in their sermons which are available online at http://www.shofaronline.org/. So if you don't mind listening to sermons, you might get a glimpse of what it is like to live as a mixed race couple from listening to some of them. It is usually interspersed with the preaching and it seems that Fred talks about it more than Lucille.

Again congrats and I wish you the very best as you start your new life.

why in the world would u want to live in south africa, do you know how violent and dangerous that place is? Theres people trying their hardest to get out of that country, who knows what you will face, im sure it wont be good.

good luck with that one ......
it would be better for you both to base in america
the youngsters in SA now are a bit more open minded

If you are comfortable with the occasional stares and glares and the occasional comments from all other races when in the general public then you should be Ok! Although im sure that happens just about everywhere.

Does it really matter?
As long as you are with the one you love, the hardships would only prove your love for each other. The relationship would mean even more after all you've been through together.

I dont think it will be a nightmare as such. I know and have seen a lot of mixed race couples. It made me feel so proud about how far people have come. Tuesday night at the movies a black guy and white girl came into the cinema, I dont remeber seeing them being stared at. Its slowly becoming a norm. My pre-school best ffriends mom was white (German) and married to a black Pedi man. I've also dated outside my race and it hasnt been much of a problem.

Go for it! Stay a while in SA and then both decide whether it is the place for you or not. Dont go according to peoples experiences. Just because its been good/bad to one person, it dont mean its going to be the same for you. You decide.

All the best to you an your man.
Nginifisela konke okuhle nakonke okulungile (I wish you all that is good and beautiful)

Believe it or not. South Africa has come a long way since Apartheid. Even during Apartheid many defied the segregation laws and dated people of different races. I personally, have no problem with "mixed couples".

What Tiisesto and Inno have to say goes. I was just wondering whether it makes a difference whether the man is from a traditional urban Zulu family or from a modern city-based family? I麓m not thinking from the racist point of view, rather I am interested whether the "wicked" mother-in-law takes over the life of the new bride, enforcing traditions on her for which she is unprepared etc.

I would also have to say, get married here in SA because it is beautiful etc etc. But dont live here. Dont be fooled into believing you "are home". You are American, and Africa is falling to peices. Go back to America. You will have a much better life there, with your new husband. And if you want to have kids, America is deffinately the place to be. Coloured relationships are not such a big issue any more. But personal safety is!

firstly think with your brain and not your heart, do not wear rose colored glasses, you came from to completely different culture groups, and even though you might not see it now, or think it will affect you...believe me IT WILL AFFECT YOU, Secondly should you definitely get married, are you prepared to raise your kids, in a society, that is surrounded by rapes, murder, hijackings...ALL THE BEST

You are aware that Zulu men practice polygamy and beat there wives and it is acceptable? Wow another gullible American. I expect you will be flying off to the US less than a year after the marriage

Don't think it's really going to matter, you are most likely to get the same reaction as in America,if not better How can you event ask that kind of question the are many mixed race relationships in south Africa and there is millions of people who are of a mixed heritage

As part of a so called "mixed race" race couple myself I can assure that there are small minority of racist people in South Africa who will look at you strangely. On the whole however, "mixed race" couples are accepted and well received in South Africa.

Cultural differences may play a role but what matters most is not that you like the same things - likes and dislikes often change over the course of our lives - but that you share the same moral and ethical values. Those are the most important areas to be "compatible" in.

i agree with Tebidy , you will get people with their nasty stares and comments , but i guess you just have to deal with it....
Inno - dont mean to attack you but it does matter to alot of people in this country , yes there are more mixed couples but people's attitudes dont seem to change with the times...
People still see "colour" and i donth think thats gonna change - i mean there were probably many couples at the cinema , but you "noticed" the "mixed couple" - instead of just seing a "couple" at least you were positve about it and say seeing this makes you proud - many people will just start insulting and even provoke you....