How do I make friends living in this city?

Hello, I'm a 25-year-old male living in L.A., going to college.

It's not actually not a new city -- I was born and raised here. But I just got out the navy a couple years ago after being stationed in Japan. And all of my friends from childhood have moved to other cities, and some I've simply lost contact with. So basically it's like living in a new city since I know no one. I'm a nice guy and just want to meet some nice people. How can I meet new friends, including girls? Get a job? Are there clubs or functions to join? Gyms? Social clubs? I can't go to a nightclub because you can't just go to a nightclub all by yourself. It's like I have to start all over again.

Any and all help would be appreciated.

Basically, I'm getting pretty lonely not knowing one. I guess I'm also kinda shy and get nervous in social situations. I'm taking a Speech class now to try to overcome that.

copestir: What is a "service organization"?

Ahhh, don't be shy. Girls WANT to meet great guys!

Think where the woman you want to grow old and die with would be. It's obviously NOT at a nightclub or bar anyway, right? So even if you just want some fun, treat every friendship for what it is: very special and wonderful. They will last a lifetime if they are good. And each one may lead to the special big deal one.

So put yourself where she might be -- at a school, church, volunteering. (A service organization is like Kiwanis, Rotary, Lions, or any other club that exists to help the community, and you can join if you are willing to make the commitment. I would check carefully first, as some require a lot of time, like WEEKLY attendance.) You can also see what the issues are and get active in those, perhaps in politics, raising money for a cause like an illness or maybe building a new library or animal shelter. Some people meet while volunteering at the Humane Society.

I have a feeling that if you just get busy and get engaged in life, doing things that you will feel excited about, you will meet other people with the same interests and you will start to make friends quite naturally.

Then you will start to introduce each other to other friends, you will start to go out to coffee or dinner, and you will have a social circle, slowly at first, then more and more.

And there's always meeting people at school and work...

I joined some service organizations and have made some great friends.

A great way to meet people socially would be through an adult sports league. I'm hopefully moving to another state soon and this is one thing I plan on doing when I get settled there. You can also check out young professional organizations near you. Most big cities should have them. Here is one I found online for L.A. http://www.layoungpro.com/index.cfm?acti...

In addition to the suggestions above, I would add your local church. In addition to spiritual fulfillment, you can meet with others and serve your community.

Check out meetup.com. It's a central location where people of similar interest can get together.

Does your subject/major have study groups? If not, what are your other interests?

I *think* copestir was referring to organizations like "meals on wheels" or "big brothers/big sisters" -- groups that help others -- when describing service organizations